The ‘Suckoff’ of True Blood

This episode wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. And you know why? The absolutely careless writing of the main character. If I took out that scene with Sookie in the car with Bill, I could probably actually enjoy this episode, but I must take in the episode as a whole and as a whole…where it needed to be good, it wasn’t.

First off, let me explain the term, Suckoff. It is a nickname Lost fans have ever so affectionately given to the writer Elizabeth Sarnoff. She has writen such gems as this:

The episode where the female is out of the sooper sekrit club and forced to grovel.

The episode where saving someone’s life is met with sneering from the person who got saved.

The episode where his daddy never taught him how to fly a kite aka the WORST Lost episode EVER.

The episode known as EFFTOWN. The episode where we’re uncomfortable with saying ‘period’ or ‘menstration’ and that’s why the character is acting whack! Let’s not forget the whackest trial EVER.

What are those episodes known for? WTFs that aren’t supposed to be WTFs, ie. WTF crawled up that character’s ass and gave them a personality transplant? Shitty dialogue that even the actors have trouble selling, laughable plot contrivances…it goes on and on. Well, Sookie’s character was crazy bi-polar and inconsistent in Season 1. We were given two episodes where Sookie was bearable, decent and it takes ONE to bring that all down. You know what? Sookie on TV is not Sookie in the books, but the difference is I can root for her in the books and I find you just can’t on True Blood, at least not right now.

Well, we’ve found the Suckoff of True Blood. Raelle Tucker. Any viewer who watched this episode and paid attention to what had happened previously will notice a few problems with Sookie in this episode. They made her look in one episode naive, ungrateful, spoiled, bratty, bitchy, greedy and the kicker? A bigoted racist and hypocrite. You know it’s not so bad that Sookie was just overly bratty, I can live with that, but using careless dialogue so that one can interpret her to be a racist? That’s simply NOT okay, especially in a show that prides itself and has marketed itself to be about the wider acceptance of marginalized groups in society such as homosexuals, ethnic minorities and religious groups etc. The wide ranging implications of Sookie’s dialogue in this episode is completely offensive to all marginalized groups in society. It’s absolutely frightening that I can actually find a racist within the main character of this show. They even put Sookie on the same level as a member of a FOTS. I’ll get to the how and why soon.

I really hope the situation on True Blood never reaches to that of Lost, where every episode written by Suckoff is one where you grit your teeth and pray for the best. That being said, I’m not holding my breath in regards to Episode 7. It’s much better to get rid of the Suckoff than to let it prey and degrade the quality of a TV show. *Hint* It was a sad day when Drew Goddard left and the Suckoff stayed.

We start the episode ranging at 100 mph!

Bill is careening down the highway at breakneck speeds because he is PISSED. Mature ain’t it?

Sookie begs Bill to slow down, he’s scaring her! Jessica is crying in the back. Very after school special, no?

Bill stops the car abruptly on the side of the road!

It’s almost like he’s taken two hostages…Cue fight! Wait…didn’t they say they weren’t gonna be one of *those couples*…Oh, nevermind, it’s clearly Saturday night. After all, Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting. I can almost hear the love song! (from when Scott didn’t need at least 5 cheeseburgers…)

Waiting on a Sunday afternoon for what I read between the lines. Your lies. Feelin’ like a hand in rusted shame. So do you laugh or does it cry? Reply? Leavin’ on a southern train. Only yesterday you lied. Promises of what I seemed to be. Only watched the time go by. All of these things you said to me.

Sookie starts apologizing. It’s Jessica’s family after all…

Bill’s holding strong. Jess is a vampire after all. No, really Bill? And the mean part? She has no family. That’s really nice Bill. Just make Jessica feel welcome and loved.

Poor Jessica. ‘I’m a monster because of you. I hate you so much!’

“Be quiet.’

‘Eat shit!’ You tell him!

‘I said be quiet!’ Well, I guess that’s an improvement over telling her to ‘Shut up’ like he did to Sookie last episode.

Now Bill REALLY lays it into Sookie for ‘undermining his authority as her maker.’ We also learned that he glamoured Jessica’s family within an inch of their sanity. That’s just fuzzy, ain’t it? He did it for them.

Sookie understands that, and says she’s sorry.

‘You keep saying that and I’m expected to what? Forget this ever happened?’ Keep this up Bill and you’ll win father and boyfriend of the year.

Sookie tells Bill she understands that she shouldn’t have done it, but she was thinking about Gran.

‘That does not give you licence to behave like an irresponsible child!’ Verbal abuse and a simile, how pleasant. You know, he does an awful lot of yelling at Sookie.

Jessica is a loaded gun, not a doll to be dressed up and played with. Oh, Jessica is really feeling the love here.

Sookie gets out of the car even though it’s 20 miles to Bon Temps. I say good for her.

Because this car ride is really beginning to look like a family with an abuser…there’s yelling, screaming and crying involved, name calling, spite. It isn’t healthy at all. It looks even more like this:

Where you are badgered until you cry to reveal something, to feel guilty.

When you’re out of the secret club for something you couldn’t control. Shunned because you didn’t follow orders through and were made to feel guilty because of it.

When you have to beg on your knees because everything was your fault and you’re made to cry.

When you’re yelled at and badgered until you cry because you’ve kept a secret that is not the business of your partner to know and made to feel guilty because of it.

And just like that, the child is the victim.

She’d rather walk all night than spend another moment with Bill.

Jess tries to give Bill some love advice to go out there and chase after Sookie.

Bill thinks Sookie will come back on her own. Ever read Carol Shields? He’s like that old man, Mr. Flett, in The Stone Diaries who thinks his wife will come back to him based on some Victorian novel where the heroine comes back. She doesn’t. Jess was pretty skeptical too. How many times will Sookie walk away before she doesn’t come back?

Now to young woman walking in the woods alone!

There’s a weird noise in the woods. LOL, she thinks Bill is trying to scare her back into the car.

Oooh! It’s a minataur! For some reason this whole Grecian thing is making me think of Jason and Medea. Even though they have nothing to do with each other in mythology.

WTF indeed.

Run, Sookie, run!

Well, ouch. That looks painful.

Oh, I guess that’s why. Curved one inch claws after all.

Time for True Blood!

Bill yells out Sookie in this breathless, desperate tone, which is true to life but just sounds really tacky on TV.

When will the moron learn that moving someone when they’re severely injured makes it worse? Internal bleeding, anyone? That’s why Sookie’s screaming..Idiot…

Sookie tells him that a bull human did this to her.

Bill feeds her blood.

Bill’s blood gives her rabies.

‘Eww, gross!’ You got that right, Jessica.

Bill commands Jess as her maker to go straight home even though she wants to stay.

She does this creepy Cameron thing and drives off.

Meanwhile, Sookie should really upgrade to the misses’ section. Remember last review? Well, it’s all hanging out…

Now to Merlotte’s where Daphne’s shitty waitress skills have come to a new low.

She’s short 64.08!

Sam chews her out. She’s gonna have to pay for it.

She gives him her meagre tips.

Tara comes in talking about positive reinforcement. That is so laced with Maryann!

That’s Sam’s sentiment and Tara would like to know what Maryann ever did to him.

Sam doesn’t want Maryann in the bar anymore and tells Tara she really doesn’t know Maryann at all.

WOO! Dr. Ludwig! And she actually looks like what you’d picture her to be!

She prods Sookie’s wounds, causing her to scream.

Bill gasps, causing us to roll our eyes. Remember that real life thing that’s tacky for TV? This is no. 2.

Then we get no. 3: ‘No, she cannot die!’ *Rolls eyes* when Dr. Ludwig tells us that Sookie is dying.

Dr. Ludwig’s not impressed either. ‘Back off vampire, let me do my job.’

You mean I can’t brood and be a pussy all night? Dammit!

Thank you Eric, the schmoopy is killing us too! ‘Forgive him, Bill is abnormally attached to this human.’ And one can’t help but think…hmm…I think you’ll be the same one day too, E, just without the gasping, the melodramatic proclamations and breathless yelling.

Sookie’s injury is like a komodo dragon poisoning…you know, those pleasant ones where you’re bit and the lizard follows you for days waiting for the poison to take affect and for you to drop dead.

Dr. Ludwig kicks everyone out.

Bill says he’s sorry and it’s like…Oh NOW you’re sorry now that she’s on the throes of death. What would have happened if she wasn’t? More yelling? Making Sookie take a Time Out? More of being out of the secret club?

Bill tells Eric about the minotaur.

Eric’s like Taller Ghost Walt? What happened when you gave her blood?

I…I gave her rabies.

Eric has never heard of this in his thousand years. He thought he’d seen it all. Clearly not lol…Or does he…?

Her orders Pam and Chow to search the woods near the highway.

Pam has complaints. She’s wearing her favourite pumps. Also, can Pam just do everyone’s hair?

Eat your vegetables.

Fine.

Eric’s daughter is ‘…extremely lazy, but loyal. How’s yours, Jessica?’

‘Petulant, dangerous, afraid.’ Wow, good job, dad, wanna do something to remedy that? Like I don’t know, make her feel less afraid? I guess Bill is a sucky maker.

‘I am glad to see you two are bonding. Being a good maker is very rewarding.’ Point Eric! And the good maker thing is like being a good parent…something Bill isn’t…Oh and he’s choosing the gf over the child looks like.

‘Oh relax, Dr. Ludwig treated one of Pam’s humans when it was mauled by a werewolf. Lost an eye, but otherwise he’s fine.’

*Cue blood curdling screams* LOL TB!

Ooh, looks like Dr. Ludwig is pouring a salt salution into Sookie’s wounds. Bill runs out and acts all indignant. What are you doing to my little Bi-Polar Bear!? More schmoop.

Ludwig puts him in his place. She’s slowing down the poison.

Bill has to hold down Sookie as she gets the salt scrub from hell.

A claw fragment is pulled out.

Cue fun transition!

Jason has a nightmare at FOTS Camp. How to Be a Racist 101! They have to show Jason naked in some way…lol.

Whoa! It’s a dream within a dream! Eddie’s back and he wants to know why Jay’s here. Eddie thought they were friends…aww…Guilty subconscious…

Waking up, Jason desperately prays for guidance. He doesn’t know what is right or wrong. He’s lost.

Luke the Douche ruins the moment by throwing a pillow at Jason. Nice huh?

Poor Little Lost Boy Jason…

Dr. Ludwig okays giving Sookie blood while Eric stares at Sookie like prime rib eye.

Bill starts to give Sookie blood, but Eric stops him. His blood is much stronger. And wow…dude has large hands.

‘Never.’ Cue cockoff! Well, I guess he wants Sookie beholden only to him as his Renfield or something. Wouldn’t it be smarter to let Eric give some of his blood to Sookie for the practical point that it’s stronger than Bill’s and would heal Sookie faster? She would be in pain a shorter amount of time. Not to mention, giving Sookie blood weakens him, and if he’s so gung ho about protecting Sookie it puts him at a disadvantage…but of course Eric may have shady motives…Still, I don’t necessarily think it’s a good idea to cockblock Eric. It kinda makes him want the toy more…of course, Bill isn’t the best when it comes to strategy and planning…

I have an avatar for this:

So then Bill feeds Sookie in yet another scene that makes us roll our eyes with the schmoop. Do they have more salt or is methodone the only way to combat the OD’ing on corn syrup to get rid of the shakes?

Ooh! Height gag! lol. ‘It’s always a pleasure doing business with you, Dr. Ludwig.’

‘Fuck off!’

Eric is about as amused with the suckoff as we are, ‘Careful now, you’ll overcook her.’ I think it’s too late for that…The evidence from the episode points to BAKED.

‘Thank you.’ Oh gag me! *roll* That milk has sooo expired. It’s more curdled than cottage cheese.

Thank God for Pam!

Even Pam’s messed up hair and outfit is better than Sookie’s…sigh…Oh and they’ve scanned the area. The tracks were human and the smell was animal…a filthy one.

Pam and Chow are ordered to send out alerts through the appropriate channels…this is a pretty angle for Eric.

‘Oh and Pam?’

‘Those were great pumps.’

Pam is not amused. Gee, thanks Dad! You suck.

Love you too, sweetie. Isn’t that cute? Your parents have SO done that to you and ribbed you for it! Eric’s eyes looked really beautiful in this episode, btw.

Bill’s doesn’t want to leave or move Sookie so Eric offers him Longshadow’s former coffin. It might be a bit messy though, the fianlly dead vamp liked a daybreak snack before sleep.

Bill thanks E for his hospitality and for saving Sookie’s life…at least someone has manners.

‘I’m sure there’s a way she can repay me.’ OOOH! Point Eric!

DAMMIT!

Maryann’s making a creepy stew. Don’t see a heart…but I do see entrails…and Karl better make that soup right, lest he wants a boiling hot soup poured on his genitals.

Maryann is having a dinner party for an unknown number of guests…hmm…

Tara wants to know why Sam wants her to stay away from Maryann.

Maryann doesn’t know…but she can take a guess…aka. drive a wedge! LOL TB! Sam’s jealous and he’s looking for someone to blame, because you moved on. Want a joint?

Want a joint?

I guess Tara’s mom never taught her not to take candy from strangers…

Sam’s cutting and running. He’s called Terry over to have him look after the bar.

‘Yeeeaaahhh…I don’t know Sam…I like cookin’. It’s quiet back there…and I ain’t so good with people…If I were you, I wouldn’t be my first choice.’

Oh you’re not, but everybody’s staying away from me. ‘You’re all I got. Will you do it for me, buddy?’

Andy doesn’t like feeling the pressure, but he’s got no choice. Still he calls it like it is. ‘So you’re just gonna cut and run? Just like that…Remind me to never get stuck in a foxhole with you! Coward.’ Awesome, awesome Terry!

Oh look, it’s one of Scott Weiland’s codependent exes… She’s like one of the people junkies use to get money for drugs from.

Whoa…more circles. There’s Religious Cult Barbie and In Over His Head Jason.

Jason, would you like to share in this Intervention/AA meeting for Religious Fanatics RPG?

Jason’s wearing his honesty ring…so he shares. He’s not a victim of vampires. They’ve never done anything against him, even his sister is dating one. He even thinks he treats her pretty well. LOL TB! Amy staked a vamp in front of him, Eddie. He was gay, but he was Jason’s friend and a nice person.

‘He wasn’t a person, Jason. A person wouldn’t do that *gestures to Missy* would they?’ Okay…so if vampires were humans before they were turned, what makes them different after they’re turned? Eddie was a person before he was turned. He CHOSE to be a vampire because humanity itself was lacking. Irony. This is exactly like what some of the Republicans were doing during the 2008 Presidential Election, defining what Americans or America was by defining what isn’t, with the subtext being Muslims. EFF you, Mackenzie King and bring on Trudeau.

‘Well my Gran and my girlfriend were killed by my best friend, just ’cause he had a problem with vampires and he was a person.’ And then Jason leaves this joint and Sarah looks like she’s swallowed a lemon.

Religious Cult Barbie goes after Jason. After all, the only way she can have him is if he stays in the FOTS Camp.

Sarah spews some shit to Jason about how he was sent to God to her, they’re so alike, they want to see the best in others so badly, that they overlook the worst.

Sarah once marched for the equal rights of vampires, but her big sister Amber was taken by the vamps, hooked on V and killed and now she wants them exterminated. How twisted is that? She’s blaming an entire group of people for the deeds of one. It’s called prejudice and discrimination. They stole Amber away and if vampires didn’t exist, they’d still be alive. Bill’s cycle of vengeance takes hold again! Really, this is a human problem, not a vampire problem.

Jason still feels a LOT of guilt for Gran and Amy. Sarah indoctrinates. If the FOTS can stop suffering from happening to even one family, then their losses won’t be for not. God needs Jason too.

They pray together. There’s somethin’ goin’ on…

Sookie wakes up at Fangtasia.

First thing she does? Bend over a mirror and see if she’s got scars.

Ginger interrupts her vanity with a Tube Top Sandwich.

See, when you’re with vampires, you forget to eat. Ginger has lost 37 pounds. I’m thinking Sookie could use a cheeseburger for her ribs…

Ginger tells Sookie that Bill’s in a coffin in the back, that she comes in for deliveries…oh and…nevermind.

TELEPATH! Laffy’s in the basement.

Say what? Oh, Ginger just works there…and don’t make her use the gun under the cash register…OOPS!

‘Take me to him! NOW!’

This is Ginger after all…what’d you expect?

Ginger leads Sookie down to see Lafayette. Laffy’s not all that happy to see her. Why? It means another one of them has been drawn into the world of vamps…

He looks awful, but he’s not a vamp.

Ginger doesn’t have the key to uncuff Laffy.

I feel kinda pissed.Sookie’s breaking up ELaffy! Nooo! 😦 I wanna have the two best things about the show in one spot!

Eggs? No Slash with the guitar.

Maryann is the only one who encouraged Eggs apparently. She brought him a guitar.

Only thing Tara’s mom encouraged her to do? Pour whisky. Oops. 45 minutes late. Oh well. Both of them are too loaded to drive or work. Oops. The fuck is up with Tara’s hair? It’s like they decided to go vintage. 1910 vintage…Or let’s just go with bird’s nest.

I guess work is offiicially flaked! Will Sam get angry? Well, Tara does go through jobs like relationships…Maybe she hasn’t found the right job relationship. I hate schmoop.

Back at Fangtasia, Bill awakes.

Sookie are you still mad about our fight? I’m not. Let’s just shuffle all our issues under the rug and pretend they don’t exist. It’s a magic carpet with handy dandy expandable thread!

‘You’re right. I’m alive and in one piece, unlike my friend, Lafayette who Eric chained up like an animal and left to bleed to death.’

And if you knew anything about this Bill Compton, I am officially rescinding my love because it’s conditional.

Woo, Eric, looking good. ‘I imagine she’s referring to the human in my basement, the human who traded sexual favours with a vampire in order to sell his blood, which as you know is a grave offense.’ Oh look, it’s the DAG marriage outift…

‘His name is Lafayette and you ought to be ashamed for what you’ve done to him!’ Okay, so violating vampire laws and all that shit is totally fine! Double standard much? What if it were Bill? Just because Lafayette is the one in trouble, he needs to be removed from it because they’re friends. Sure, it’s not human justice and it’s arguably not human, but it is still a form of justice…to which everyone is not above. What about Eddie? Doesn’t he deserve to have the guilty party come to justice?

Aww, Eric got dandelion fluff in his face…and that ain’t a Sun!slap! It ain’t even a bitch slap.

‘I’m glad you’re feeling better and may I add, that colour suits you very well.’ Go Sawyer!

‘Go to hell!’

Ooh! Red vs. Green, opposite colours…Remember these guys? OTP 4Ever…Red eyes vs. green eyes!

‘Oh it’s not nearly enough, they’ve tortured him and bitten him and shot him and kept him down there in his filth for weeks.’ You know…sure, Eric is in the wrong for human rights abuses, but bitch and high horse much? She is so annoying like this, with her Attitude. Duff, call Slash and get him to use the motherfuckin’ guitar on her.

Eric rolls his eyes, kinda like us. ‘There are others who would have done far worse and you know it.’

‘You’re gonna let him go right now, or I swear I’m goin’ to the police!’ That’s real smart, threatening a guy who eats chumps for breakfast…

Eric gets fangy.

You are SOOO in over your head.

‘I do not respond well to threats.’

‘But perhaps we can come to some sort of arrangement.’

Tara’s not at work, Sam understands it’s because she’s pissed at him for what he said about Maryann. ‘Keep your eyes open and take a look at the people around you. And be careful’

Arlene comes in late, but Sam understands. After all, Sarah tried to give Coby a nose piercing like she saw on ANTM lol.

It seems Sookie was supposed to work tonight, but Arlene’s covering…she feels she owes Sookie for Rene. TB, please reign in your two headed Jacksus. Nice and understanding look good on Sam though.

Oh yeah, Sam is still hung up on Sookie. We can’t imagine why though…seriously. Ugh.

Jessica wakes up.

She emerges from under the staircase! LOL. Looks like Bill is a DUDley. I guess Bill’s an absent parent…

She calls out for Bill or Sookie. She’s worried after all, but no one’s around. She’s all alone. How will she eat? Isn’t leaving Jessica alone in the first place the start of Bill’s problems?

Poor Jessica. She’s like an abandoned child.

Jessica goes into Merlotte’s.

She’s the hot chick for once. And she’s used Bill’s curling iron. You know, the kind you use with a fireplace?

She sees Hoyt.

Smoooth.

Hoyt sees her.

You can do this Hoyt!

‘You mind if I join you?’ Aww…he cutely stumbles over his words.

She invites Hoyt to sit down.

He’s got a really nice jugular.

They introduce themselves. ‘I was just sitting there wondering, ‘How come you never meet a nice girl, Hoyt?’ And then you walked right in.’ AWWWWWW!!!

‘Honey, you know I’m a nice girl.’

‘From your smile, I get it. Tell a lot about someone by the way they smile and y’know, I watch people all the time.’

‘You see, aww, like that.’ OMG! It’s cute like snuggly bunnies and puppies, that makes you wanna smile and not kill something! Awww! They have more chemistry than Bill and Sookie. The Hoyt/Jessica scenes were like the BEST thing about this episode.

‘That’s beautiful. I could stare at that all day long.’

‘Day, yeah right…’ Aww…Jess…

Hoyt doesn’t want to scare her away. He offers Jessica food or drink. How about a chicken fried steak? ‘It’s like a chicken and a steak got together and made babies. A delicious, crispy baby.’

Poor Hoyt and Jess!

‘I’ll just have a bottle of True Blood. B+’

‘You’re a vampire? For real? Wow…That is awesome.’ Aww, he doesn’t shun her. He even likes her before he knows she’s a vampire! And he gives Jess encouragement too, instead of making her hate herself.

Hoyt brings Jess some True Blood.

Does anyone else feel like Eric’s facial expression?

‘So if I agree to go to Dallas, to help look for that missing vampire, you’ll let Lafayette go?’

Bill has objections. Sookie can make up her own mind, KThnxBai. Eric will pay all the expenses and release Laffy.

Sookie wants 5000 dollars for a new driveway. Isn’t that great? Profiteering off suffering! Not saying she shouldn’t be paid, but Book Sookie would NEVER be so rude as to demand money. She got money because Eric offered to pay her for her troubles.

Eric says she’s getting cocky, I agree!

Of course Bill is even worse, he’ll profiteer even when he knows what it’s for. He ups the price to 10 grand.

And he’s escorting Sookie. Or it’s a deal breaker.

‘You surprise me, that is a rare quality in a breather.’

‘You disgust me.’

“Perhaps I’ll grow on you.’

‘I’d prefer cancer.’ ‘Like a fungus.’ Survivors and sufferers of cancer as well as people who know or knew them really like that comment…Even Bill is like WTF? This is Suckoff dialogue…

They need to leave immediately and Bill wants E’s credit card number. Thank God you can cancel purchases on those things. Yes, miss, my credit card was stolen during those days and used without my authorization. Thanks for bringing up the abnormal spending to me.

Pammy throws in Laffy!

‘Such a shame, I was hoping I could convince Eric to let me keep you.’ Oh Pam, I heart you lol. And your hair STILL rocks.

‘You already have enough pets.’ And you don’t feed them or take care of them like you’re supposed to. I do those things.

‘No offence, but you ain’t exactly my type, bich.’ Go Laffy!

‘Can I kick him?’

‘Enough. Have Chow fetch their car.’

Time for Eric to have some fun! Lafayette tries to shuffle away.

‘I’ll see you around, I’m sure.’ Lol. He’s throwing Laffy’s words back at him and terrorizing him a bit.

‘Oh don’t bet on it, baby, I’m retiring. I’m done with you crazy ass fuckers. Done.’

Sure you are. *wink*

Cue epic stare down! I H8 U!

I H8 U more, Future Lover.

Does anyone else find it funny that Eric/Fangtasia is into Chinese numerology and that Sookie is basically marked by death? Fours sound like death in Chinese, well Mandarin and Cantonese, I don’t know about Taishanese and Shanghainese and the gazillion other dialects lol.

Now to Maryann’s dinner party. That’s some crazy ass soup she’s serving…

At least Jane Bodehouse is having a good time…

Cue toplessness! Why couldn’t they have hot naked guys? I call not fair. Of course it’s always fun to play Count the Fake Boobs!

Andy crashes.

Eggs and Tara gossip about Andy and goof off in the hot tub.

Andy comes upon a piggy in the shed! ‘What you doin’ in there, Pig?’

He finds Maryann, apparently she got a noise complaint. She also takes the time to throw ego raising compliments to further her own agenda…Oh and it’s illegal to have livestock without a permit.

What pig? Have you been drinking?

The pig is gone!

Oh Andy, it’s okay! Have a drink and come party! You’re NOT crazy!

Peer pressure is bullshit…

This episode is all about hate…and dumbing it down to ‘You cannot love evil. You have to hate it. So hating good is really loving evil.’ By the way, the sky is blue! Wow, smell that? It’s called bullshit. Jason’s never thought of it that way though.

Religious Cult Daddy sure looks like a comic book character. I mean, they sure smeared on the highlights enough…

Did anyone else laugh when he said that vampires are babykillers? It’s like, but they’re Communist, Muslim!

What kind of man would Steve be if he didn’t spread the cycle of vengeance? Good, intelligent, foreward thinking?‘A pretty bad one.’

‘There’s a war out there…and we all gotta choose sides. You’re either on the side of darkness or the side of light! There’s no in between.‘ We have ALL heard THIS rhetoric..Our world gets polarized, there’s no room for discussion, only conflict.

Sarah brings in banana pudding. It’s a ‘slice of heaven’. ‘Don’t go braggin’ on me in front of the company!’ She also has to go back for the whipped cream. Phallic much?

‘You know my wife must think you’re pretty special…Sarah doesn’t whip out her pudding for just anybody!’ Holy love triangle, Batman!

God has good things in store for Jason and channeling Ramon from Ocean’s 13. ‘Can you *feel* it?’

Jessica takes Hoyt ‘home’.

Hoyt thinks Jessica’s home is pretty cool.

‘Not really…’ I wonder why? He’s mean to her, makes her hate herself, abandons her…Hoyt and Jess comiscerate on their parents. It’s cute.

A Dildo Wii! More sexual innuendos…

‘I never done any o’ that.’ ‘Here, let me show you.’ LOL TB!

Jessica leans in for the kiss! Aww!

Just as things are getting hot and heavy…

Oh NOES!

Jessica is mortified. Literally.

Hoyt is truly the sweetest guy on the planet! He comforts Jessica and appreciates her for who and what she is. ‘No, don’t hide that. That’s natural.’

More not so subtle innuendo and ‘I’d die if I wasn’t already dead!’ Aww, poor Jessica!

‘Don’t be embarassed about what you are because what you are is great.’ Hoyt is a good Christian and a good person! This is what Bill and Sookie should be, but isn’t. Bill and Sookie are the antithesis of what Hoyt and Jessica are. Unlike Bill, who focuses on what’s wrong with Jessica and tries to rectify her behavior or otherwise, Hoyt just takes her in and lets her be. Simularly, Eric and Pam’s relationship is what Bill and Jessica’s should be, but isn’t. Pam loves who she is and that in part is do to the way Eric has raised her. Pam follows Eric loyally which is more than can be said of Jessica and Bill. Not only that, Eric doesn’t want to disappoint her either, as seen by last episode and his hair.

Hoyt and Jessica are like Helo and Athena, a functioning interspecies couple, where the cylon is accepted. They’re the only functioning couple we’ve seen on True Blood thus far. They’ve had more screen time than Terry and Arlene, you know?

Hoyt likes her a lot.

Hoyt wants to wait.

Jessica doesn’t.

Bill and Sookie drop Lafayette home. They can’t take him to the hospital. He doesn’t have health insurance.

Laffy’ll get his uncle the vet to stitch it up. Keep things on the downlow. Sookie has missgivings because she’s thinking in terms of black and white and unicorns and rainbows…

Laffy thinks he’s fine…and comes up with a cover story. ‘As far as I’m concerned, I spent my last two weeks at ClubMed, drinking a Margharita and getting my chest waxed.’ You’re gonna need that chest wax sooner rather than later, Laffy… ‘And I appreciate it if that’s how you tell your friends I remember it.’

Because Bill has half a brain, he agrees.

Lafayette goes back into his home of hallow dreams and in the saddest scene of the night, he cries in his old quilt. I think it’s a nicer quilt than Sookie’s hideous one.

‘I used to get so mad when people judged vampires just for being different. It was like they were judging me too. I told myself they’re fear was nothing but small mindedness, but maybe that’s just what I wanted to believe because the more open my mind gets, the more evil I see.‘ So you would rather wallow in your ignorance? Seriously. Ugh.

The result of a good education is that you can’t make decisions…or so it’s been said. That’s because you understand complexity and can see multiple sides. Clearly, Sookie lacks education and while I never would have said it to be a fault against her book character, who is so much more broad and less dimwitted, I can’t say the same about TV Sookie. The world is complex and can’t be pigeonholed. You can’t categorize everything into neat little pegs and circles. Yet, she wants to see things as black and white or all unicorns and rainbows.

And of course we have the VERY troubling parallel between Sookie and Sarah Newlin. Both believed in vampire rights and equality until they revoked their membership for something else because of one event and their own prejudices. What is the point of this? Are they saying that Sookie will become a FOTS zealot? Seriously. If they are attempting to bring Sarah more sympathy, I just don’t understand why they’re doing it in this way, by elevating her and degrading Sookie. It implies that racism and bigotry is everywhere, even in people who you wouldn’t normally expect. Racism is subtle. You can perpetuate it easily. I have a problem with this because while you could argue it’s gutsy to put that sublety into the main character, it’s also frightening and dangerous. It is extremely discouraging to see such bigotry in the main character of a TV show…an eponymous character too…I mean, we’re not supposed to hate her, right?

‘Sookie, most of us, vampire, human or otherwise are capable of both good and evil, often simultaneously.’ I’m also having problems with the paternalistic quality of the relationship between Bill and Sookie, that Sookie needs the guy to somehow educate and better her. It’s just plain frustrating and sexist.

‘You can’t expect me to believe that Eric is capable of anything good, not after he tortured Lafayette.’ First off, what about Eddie? Doesn’t Eddie deserve some sort of justice? Sookie conveniently forgets that Lafayette did commit a crime. Would you say the same if someone drained Bill? Somehow Bill is the good guy here? Really? What about the glamouring of the cop and the Hambys? Or the killing of the Rattrays and Uncle Bartlet? Secondly, prepare to have your words bite you in the fucking ass. I have an issue with this statement because it’s so narrow minded, sure it serves the purpose as a plot device for Sookie to eat her words, but it’s just so ridiculously extreme and prejudiced, it makes her a hypocrite.

In this episode, Hoyt and Jessica are really the hope for society. Bill and Sookie can’t crash and burn fast enough for my tastes seriously. They’ve reached a point where it’s beyond the overly saccharineness…it’s the abusive subtext and racist undertones too. It’s time to end the reign of terror for the good of humanity, seriously. Prepare for role reversals.

‘I’ve had worse sheriffs.’

‘I don’t understand how you can defend him.’ I don’t understand how you can be up in Eric’s ass when you’ve seen Bill do exactly the same…Double standard much? Helllooooooo, people were saying that to her about Bill last season…does this chick have a memory at all? Oh hey and Eric only saved your life! Just because the person who saved you isn’t white as a unicorn, it doesn’t mean you don’t show gratitude…

‘He saved your life.’ ‘I can still hate him.’ Did Eric steal your inhaler or something, Sookie? Well, the lines between love and hate are rather thin and you seem awfully fixated on Eric, Sweetheart. She’s got one hell of a prejudice on him. Did you know Sookie is Polish for an obnoxious, rich housewife? “Can I kick [her].” -Pam.

And how can she say that when she’s knows the guy in front of her has glamoured a family within an inch of their sanity. When this guy has killed the Rattrays and her Uncle Bartlett? What about the cop? What about Sookie herself killing Rene? Eric was acting upon justice for vampires who had been legitimately wronged. Sure, he’ not using human justice, but it’s no different than Bill’s. Stop Jackifying Bill and making him the Jacksus and absolving him too. He’s not a saint or a martyr, so stop pretending he is.

‘I hate that he will be putting you in harms way once again for his own selfish reasons.‘ Since when is saving or finding another sheriff who is missing selfish? He’s not doing it for himself. He’s doing it to help someone else! Seriously.

‘And I hate that he has shown you the barbarous we call justice.‘ WTF is Bill high on? On that’s right, his entire body is pumped full of a banned substance! Silly me! Oh, and he fed it to his gf! Oh, okay, so vampire justice is barbaric, but vigilante revenge killing isn’t? You’re absolved because somehow killing the Rattrays and Uncle Bartlet is more noble than seeking punishment for offenders to vampires? Revenge killing is not justice and in seeking it out and acting upon vengeance, he’s done nothing more than create an even deeper cycle of violence. Bill claims to have humanity, to have struggled to hold onto it, but where’s the humanity in revenge killing? Bill’s actions do not back up his claims.

Furthermore, Eric, Pam and Chow drained Lafayette, a rather poetic justice for his crime in draining another vampire for profit. A bit like an eye for an eye, like in the Bible, something written by humans. Given this logic, vampire law is based on human law, albeit thousands of years old, it still means that humans are barbarous. It’s just really annoying that Bill somehow sees vampire law or vampires as barbarous when it’s based off the barbarousness of humans that he seems to privilege. He claims to be able to see complexity, but this statement defies his logic. Sure, humans have changed and evolved and may seem more humane than vampires, but like Sookie, he’s stereotyping.

Bill asks to glamour everything away for Sookie, but she declines and is glad he can’t. Sookie is sick of things sneaking up on her like Rene and the minotaur. If she’s never going to be safe she wants to know what she has to be afraid of. This is like the bogey man in our closet thing that I feel is like the Culture of Fear we have been living in.

‘Well after last night, I hope that doesn’t include me.’ You can bet your ass he doesn’t, because he’s been anything but a fuzzy bunny. Did I mention that most of the darkness Sookie has seen has to do with Bill more than Eric? She has a really idealized vision of Bill in her head that she’s just not seeing the real Bill in front of her. A Bill with arrested development who has clearly never developed past a brooding teenager and never moved on to seize life by the horns. An arrested development that has impacted his child, Jessica to hate herself. Thank God for Hoyt. He’s wondering why she’s so difficult, when really all he needs is a mirror. The parent reflects onto the child.

‘I know there’s darkness in you. I know there is and it scares the life out of me, but you’re right, there’s goodness in you too. And when I look in your eyes, that’s what I see.’ She can accept that there’s darkness in Bill and also light too, but Eric is exempt? So even because Bill is a vampire, he’s not like them…yet he acts exactly like them and she doesn’t accept that behaviour…Sookie’s lack of consistency, once again, is ridiculous. The writers really need to come together and write her in one way and read each other’s writings, because the inconsistency is astounding. Really, it’s sloppy that they’re not paying close attention.

I’m sorry…but I just think Sookie is being blind. Clearly, she’s seen more than the darkside of Bill. Not only that, 24 hours ago, he was treating her like shit. This is starting to feel like the abused wife that keeps going back to her lowlife hubby…Clearly, she did not pay attention to Bill’s actions in Episode 2. Somehow glamouring three people within an inch of their sanities is different and on higher moral ground than Eric imprisoning Lafayette because Bill does this for her. Great. I can’t help but think Bill will only continue to disappoint her. Sookie needs a backbone when dealing with Bill and she has to be consistent. And when she gets a backbone, it’s in all the wrong places and it makes her come off as an arrogant, spoiled, ungrateful, high handed bitch.

Secondly, it’s like she’s saying all vampires are bad, except Bill, because he’s somehow good with his humanity and shit. Wow, just how conditional and racist is that? Bill has everything in him that makes a vampire a vampire, but because he denies it and tries to shy away from it, it’s somehow good. As a woman and a visible minority in my society, this is just greeeaat. Not only will I be judged by members outside my minority, but I won’t be accepted as who I am and what I cannot change unless I conform to the values of others, nor will other members of my minority. Excellent. This is also applicable towards your ethnicity, gender, sexuality and religious faith. This is the wide ranging implication when the vampires are supposed to be a metaphor for repressed social groups. I guess Eric doesn’t fit into Sookie’s melting pot of homogeneity.

These two need to get a fucking clue. Their hypocrisy is astounding. The moral ground that these two are standing on has more holes in it than Swiss cheese! Claiming higher moral ground by these two is utterly and totally ridiculous and makes them no different than the crazies at the FOTS. It only makes it more disturbingly so.

Sookie claims to be open, accepting and tolerant of vampires but really isn’t. Bill claims to be humane, to have a better moral code than Eric and other vampires, but doesn’t. This is the couple of hypocrisy. Sookie’s character especially took on a WTF tonight in the way Raelle Tucker wrote Sookie’s prejudice against Eric. It’s the same thing with Bill, her tolerance is conditional. She’s tolerant as long as vampires are the fluffy PR version. Bill glamours a whole bunch of people to protect her, which is surely bad moral code, Bill doesn’t get harangued but Eric does? She did not have to introduce such racist undertones and hypocrisy to bring that idea in…but she did. This is especially sloppy and frightening for the main character. The main character just should not be doing the hating in this way, especially when she claims to be tolerant. A better writer would have rewrote the dialogue to this scene and caught on to the undertones. This scene did nothing more but emphasize what is wrong with Bill and Sookie. That there is an air of acceptance for each other and humanity, when there really isn’t. At all. Popcorn for smart people? I guess not. Swiss cheese for smart people on the other hand…

What I dislike the most is that Sookie expects vampires to be just like her, like some melting pot. She’s claming to be open and tolerant, but she’s already put an emic spin on things. In Anthropology, there is the emic perspective and the etic perspective. Emic is where you apply your cultural values, ideas and interpretations to another culture, whereas etic is where you take the outsider perspective and attempt to be neutral and objective. She’s applying her values to the vampires and claiming to be open and tolerant, hypocrisy. Sure, I believe in cultural reletivism up to a certain point, I believe that we have universal values, but Sookie seems like she’s bottlenecked hers towards vampires. That makes her no different than the FOTS. She’s jumping and leaping instead of thinking and observing. Mostly, it’s a problem in how her attitude was written. It makes her look extremely narrow minded. I’m not saying it’s right for Lafayette to be taken and abused the way he was, but the arrogance in Sookie’s behavior was downright disrespectful. I was fine with the plot, not so much with the dialogue. They made it seem like this Sookie will join the FOTS.

They’re twisting some plot points in the books and that’s fine, but the way they’ve twisted Sookie and the carelessness of it, it’s simply not working right now, it makes Sookie come off as ungrateful, spoiled, bratty, rude, racist and a multitude of other bad descriptors. Sookie’s character is not like this at all in the books, yet here she perpetuates the very worst of humans, subtly. I guess we can blame Bill’s blood and the rabies? Or what about Sookie’s big hair, maybe it’s channeling something like a tin foil hat…

Okay…moving on. Back at the party, Tara and Eggs are hanging out in the hot tub.

Things are all good until a skank with fake tits starts massaging Eggs.

Tara takes a look around, finally seeing what is around her, just like Sam told her to.

More grudge extra rejects.

Tara splits.

Meanwhile creepy chick drinks creepy drink.

Eggs tells Tara that the girl was drunk and he just got carried away. Everyone’s just trying to have a good time. Tara tells him that if this is his lifestyle, she’s not into it. There’s no ‘us’ if that’s his scene.

Sam is ready to cut loose.

Until he sees a friend.

It’s Dean! And you just can’t be mean to animals. The two decide to go for a run.

Now it’s back to the crystal palace of Bill and Sookie. It’s supports and foundation are made of cards. Everything’s okay now! (Don’t throw rocks or blow at it! It’s delicate.)

Cue ridiculous dreck! Upon seeing the clothes that Bill brought for Jessica that was none of her business, we learn that Bill has a petticoat fetish because the times of racism, slavery, sexual repression and gender inequality were such gentler times. You weren’t kidding when you said he’s old fashioned.

Sookie’s going to indulge his fetish. We’ve had about enough corn syrup as we can stand.

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

A vampire and a human getting it on!

CHILD ABUSE! I don’t care that she’s a vampire and can take it or that she can heal, there’s other ways you could have broken that up without needing to toss her across the room.

We were just making out, you reactionary moron. Why don’t you think like Sawyer!?

See! Hoyt’s okay, but Bill pushes him down too. Human abuse!

How long will Bill’s halo shine? Honestly. He’s looking more hypocritical all the time.

He’s looking awfully fuzzy now, eh, Sookie? ‘Bill don’t!’ It looks like Jessica more and more traded one bad home situation for another.

What is Bill gonna do THIS time? Glamour Hoyt? Ground Jessica? Or something worse?

Sam and Dean go for a run and end up at the lake. Sam goes in…Dean leaves. It ruins the hair.

Daphne shows up. She’s doing the same as Sam, just trying to cool off. She teases Sam about being a hardass boss.

Sam says he can be nice. To dogs, she says. Sam invites her into the water. It’s nice.

Daphne takes off her top and it’s one of Ack’s Classic Lost moments! LOL Episode title!

Some final thoughts:

The only thing that was good about this episode was Hoty and Jessica and the characters of Eric and Pam in the mix. I’m disappointed in this episode mainly due to the car scene with Bill and Sookie and the whole shebang of problems there, Sookie’s attitude and inconsistency.

The subtle implications of this episode were extremely disturbing, offensive and insulting in general because they were subversive. Instead of showing a social issue out in the open like “It’s Different for Girls” in Friday Night Lights where the societal double standard of promiscuity between men and women were openly addressed and blatant, in this episode of True Blood, it’s subversive with Sookie and Bill’s relationship. And I find subversive perpetuation extremely scary.

The writers of True Blood, particularly Raelle Tucker, as this is her episode, made a mistake by dumbing this episode down to good and evil, as highlighted with Sookie and Bill’s conversation in the car, by dumbing it down for plot, character and consistency was sacrificed, just like on Lost in Season 4. In doing so, Sookie and Bill are hypocrites. Sookie looks like she could be the next Sarah Newlin.

One of the things I love most about literature and art, whether it’s a painting, a book, a movie or TV show is that it is a reflection of us and our culture at a particular time. I love learning about things through that and what have I gleaned from this particular episode of True Blood? Racism, bigotry, hypocrisy and non-tolerance are alive and well, but not only that, it is perpetuated almost unknowingly by people, even those who claim to be open-minded. Oh, I was never so naïve as to believe that it didn’t, but to have it reconfirmed is rather disappointing, don’t you think? The worst thing about this is that this interpretation could be unintentional or careless on the part of the writers…or a stating of the fact of the world. Still, it’s a statement of the status quo that it’s perpetuating, rather than the progression of society.

What I loved about a show like Battlestar Galactica is that it showed what our society COULD be like, where women have the same level of standing as men, where gender issues didn’t exist, where a smart ass, seat of their pants, sexually promiscuous fighter pilot could be a woman and sexual promiscuity wouldn’t label her a whore, where she could ascend to the same roles in the military as a man and not be discriminated based on gender, where she could taken on a crucial role in it as the CAG and rise in positions from lieutenant to captain and so on based on her ability and for frak’s sake, where the president was a woman.

That does so much more for the progression of society than the perpetuation of the status quo. Has anything ever changed in society when all we got was a perpetuation of the status quo?

One thing’s sure, I think Roslin, Starbuck, Athena and Helo are abjuring this.

Right, well I hope you all enjoyed this. FYI, I’ll be away on holiday from the 7th to the 16th/17th. I promise you that I’ll get both the Episode 4 and 5 recaps out, though the Episode 4 one will most likely come late, like on a Tuesday or Wednesday. I hope to make the 5th one on time, but we’ll see.

The caps come from marishna at LJ and I made supplemantary ones. Bluebear provided the Gifs. Lost caps are from Lost-Media. Other images from google. Avatars are from LJ. I’m pretty sure endlessdeep did the Sucky is Mahn one.

~simba_317