The Bloodie Awards- Day 9

On Day 9, we get even more entrenched in the Character section! The polls up for today are:

  • Best Villain
  • Worst Villain
  • Best Pawn
  • Worst Pawn
  • Best Vamp Ho
  • Worst Vamp Ho
  • Best Human or ‘Human’
  • Worst Human or ‘Human’

Please read the headings for each poll to make sure you vote for the right award. As usual, each poll closes in three days and the results of each are locked.

Best and Worst Villain

Maryann- Sociopathic Bridezilla, Chef Extraordinaire. Coeur de Daphne anyone?
Maryann- Sociopathic Bridezilla, Chef Extraordinaire. Coeur de Daphne anyone?
Steve and Steves Hair- The One Thing Unchanging in This World? Steves Hair

Steve and Steve's Hair- The One Thing Unchanging in This World? Steve's Hair

Lorena- Because We Were Genuinely Upset When a 52 Plasma Was Wielded as a Weapon

Lorena- Because We Were Genuinely Upset When a 52" Plasma Was Wielded as a Weapon

Gabe- One Sick MOFO

Gabe- One Sick MOFO



Best and Worst Pawn

Eggs- Frankenanns Monster...I Miss Lady Macbeth

Eggs- Frankenann's Monster...I Miss Lady Macbeth

Daphne- All Pawns Go to Heaven

Daphne- All Pawns Go to Heaven

Karl- Inappropriate Towel Distributing Cooks are SOOO Replaceable

Karl- Inappropriate Towel Distributing Cooks are SOOO Replaceable

Gabe- Hes Both Crabbe AND Goyle

Gabe- He's Both Crabbe AND Goyle

Sarah- Needs a Divorce and a REAL Man

Sarah- Needs a Divorce and a REAL Man and Her Own Bibilical Handjobs

Hadley- Wants to be More Than No. 1 Concubine

Hadley- Wants to be More Than No. 1 Concubine

Ludis- He Will Have A Sex With You

Ludis- He Will Have A Sex With You

Ginger- Shes Reuseable, Just Glamour

Ginger- She's Reuseable, Just Glamour

Sookie- All Beeeeeelll All the Time Means Zero Self Motivations Equals Big FAT Pawn

Sookie- All Beeeeeelll All the Time Means Zero Self Motivations Equals Big FAT Pawn

Bill- Sophies Pawn, Dont You Forget it, Bill.

Bill- Sophie's Pawn, Don't You Forget it, Bill.

Lorena- Erics Little Schmoop Buster

Lorena- Eric's Little Schmoop Buster



Best and Worst Vamp Ho

Ginger- The Hypochondriac Banshee

Ginger- The Hypochondriac Banshee aka. Trashy Vamp Ho

Erics Dinner- Bad Actress, but High Class Vamp Ho

Eric's Dinner- Bad Actress, but High Class Vamp Ho

Hadley- Queens Concubine, Vamp Ho with Good Taste

Hadley- Queen's Concubine, Vamp Ho with Good Taste

Ludis- Indiscriminate Exotically Foreign Vamp Ho

Ludis- Indiscriminate Exotically Foreign Vamp Ho

Sookie- A Vamp Ho in Denial

Sookie- A Vamp Ho in Denial



Best Human or ‘Human’

Sookie- Telepathic Barmaid with Glow Hands

Sookie- Telepathic Barmaid with Glow Hands

Lafayette- Fabulous Short Order Cook Who Agreed to See Other People with Jesus. They Still Gossip Though.

Lafayette- Fabulous Short Order Cook Who Agreed to See Other People with Jesus. They Still Gossip Though.

Sam- A Shifter and a Hero. Wear Him Like a Scrunchie

Sam- A Shifter and a Hero. Wear Him Like a Scrunchie

Jason- Redneck Weapons Is Him

Jason- Redneck Weapons Is Him

Terry- Your Zombie Commander!

Terry- Your Zombie Commander!

Andy- He Had a Nanny Named Annie

Andy- He Had a Nanny Named Annie

Maxine- Crazy Mom Killing Zombie Bitches

Maxine- Crazy Mom Killing Zombie Bitches

Hoyt- Causes Screams of Pleasure

Hoyt- Causes Screams of Pleasure


Worst Human or ‘Human’

Sookie- In Desperate Need of Being Likable

Sookie- In Desperate Need of Being Likable

Eggs- Blander Than Diluted Water

Eggs- Blander Than Diluted Water

Daphne- So Dispoable

Daphne- So Dispoable

Jane- Pointless Time Waster

Jane- Pointless Time Waster

Tara- WHY oh WHY!?

Tara- WHY oh WHY!?

Mike- Tree Sodomizing...So Do Not Care

Mike- Tree Sodomizing...So Do Not Care

Hugo- He Jilted Izzy. OH NO YOU DIDINT!

Hugo- He Jilted Izzy. OH NO YOU DID'INT!


And some reminders, this poll will close in 3 days’ time on Saturday, October 3rd. You can still vote for the Day 7 and Day 8 polls here and here, respectively. Day 10 will feature the polls for:

  • Best New Vampire
  • Worst New Vampire
  • Most Messy Vampire
  • Best Eric Line
  • Best Line
  • Worst Line

Caps are from Marishna on LJ, black-celebration.net and myself. The gifs are from Bluebear.

Enjoy!

~simba_317



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~ by simba317 on September 30, 2009.

24 Responses to “The Bloodie Awards- Day 9”

  1. Yeah, first to reply. Got to say these were tough choices, especially for the worse human. My pick was either Eggs, Daphne, Jane or Mike, but I went with Jane. Lorena got my vote for best villain and best pawn(she did hold Beell hostage for two days)and worse was Gabe. He needed to be killed off and didn’t care for him much.

  2. HAHAHAHAHAA!!! Bill’s face on Maxine’s gif “Crazy Mom Killing Zombie Bitches” is priceles!!!

  3. Why isn’t Eric up for best villain? That’s certainly how AB sees him, and most other articles/polls I’ve seen put him in there.

    • Well we are most other polls, we see things differently. We get to do that cuz it’s our blog and our awards 😉

    • Switzerland, I have to disagree with you about AB seeing Eric as a villian. First, AB never has said at any interview that he is a villain, and second, he also made him a hero in his own show at the FoTS when he offered himself in exchange for Godric’s and Sookie’s freedom. Maybe you are confusing “rival” with villain. Just in case here is “rival”, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

      Pronunciation: \ˈrī-vəl\
      Function: noun
      Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin rivalis one using the same stream as another, rival in love, from rivalis of a stream, from rivus stream — more at run
      Date: 1577
      1 a : one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess b : one striving for competitive advantage

      BTW, Thank you Lil for answering me!! ;). *Big Hug*

    • Because Eric is the anti-hero, not the villain. Just because you’re salty, doesn’t mean you’re the villain and the mainstream media likes to oversimplify things.

      ~simba_317

    • I thought Switzerland was neutral?

  4. Yes!! Karl!!!

  5. This is getting more an more difficult every time… 😉

  6. I really love these polls…thank you so much for the fun and TB fix at the same time!
    I have to say though..I’m not missing TB as much as I thought I would, only becuase of how badly things were being done, and written. I guess I DO need the break to get over their mauling of some great character potential…not to mention their lousy follow up of Godric’s meeting the sun. (sigh)

    Though I DO miss Eric very, very much…and his oh so slithery sexy voice…

  7. I love this!

  8. Poor Karl. It turns out, nobody needed towels. The ‘worst’ are so hard to pick…but I loves me some Laffy. Glad to vote for him in the best human category, he’ll look so devine in his winner’s crown.

  9. haha, bill looks like such a damn tool in pawn poll picture… which i guess is totally appropriate!

    i’m sad there’s no category for pam today!

  10. Nope. Not confused at all. Tortured Lafayette, check. Summoned evil female vampire to deal with ‘rival’ not considering how this put innocents into greater danger; check. Referred to small children as ‘teacup humans’ implying that they tasted good; check. Perhaps responsible for kidnapping Bill; check. That may say rival to YOU, but it says ‘villain’ to me.

    • Sawyer. Anti-hero. Killed an innocent frog. Killed the wrong man on a vengeance trip in Australia. Conned money out of tons of people out of a lot of money. Hoarded supplies. Picked a fight with an Iraqi based on prejudice. Stole a gun off a dying man. Conned an entire camp out of guns. He did all those things, but he’s not a horrible person, he also did a LOT of good things. He jumped out of a helicopter so that the others on board, including a pregnant woman and a four month old baby could survive.

      Just because Eric did all that does not mean he is a villain. And using Lorena also had to do with the fact that Bill was slowing down his progress with getting Godric. It had the added consequence of dealing with his rival as well…but to say that is the only reason for using Lorena isn’t true. His number one goal in Dallas was Godric. Eric never tortured Lafayette, he held him captive for two weeks, he got shot because he was trying to escape his punishment. His punishment for selling vampire blood. Eric may not use the same methods as the human legal system, but he does have the authority to seek justice for someone selling V. Andy drug dealer would be held in jail if captured. It has been established that the blood that tastes best to ALL vampires, not just Eric, is the blood of virgins and babies/children. So he voiced it. It’s honesty. Maybe he is responsible for capturing Bill…but that’s a big fat maybe.

      Eric isn’t a villain, he’s pragmatic and not only that, he’s a politician and leader to his people. While his actions are harsh and brutal, he needs to do so to retain order for his people and between humans and vampires. In doing so, he has to do a little evil to do good. And the fact of the matter is, in politics, when rules, laws and agreements can be easily broken, you have to take what you will or be subverted and destroyed. Eric isn’t looking out just for himself. On his shoulders is ALL vampires in Area 5. He has to look out for them.

      Eric may show one side, but he’s anything but one sided. He rescued Sookie and saved her from harm at the Fellowship of the Sun. No one said he needed to sacrifice himself and yet he did just that and got chained to a podium so he would meet the sun and he sacrificed himself without drama or complaint. Yet, he gets no thanks for that? Why is that? Is it because he’s not pure? Just because he’s not all good all the time, doesn’t make his actions any less valiant. He may have been following Godric’s rules…but he didn’t break them. We’ve seen Bill break his word. He breaks from Lorena because he’s not like that, yet, he then runs with Liam, Diane and Malcolm, he kills people in cold blood for vengeance.

      He’s got a sense of humour. Pam was so over the stinky kids and he said what he did to rile her up and annoy her.

      ~simba_317

      • Interesting point there about the torture, Simba…
        But I have to disagree with you there. Not about Eric, but about the “human legal system”. I mean, I know of a really important and powerful country that ruled it to be OK to torture prisioners and to accept any knowledge that is learned using torture in court…
        So, if one judge Eric for that (although, as you well said, he DID NOT torture Lafayette) shouldn’t it also start protesting about this Big Nations attitude also?!

      • Rumsfeld going to John Yu of the Justice Department to give the President more powers, as was in his interpretation of the American constitution, so that they could detain prisoners and use torture techniques in order to get information on terrorists? That they went to John Yu because the Congress didn’t okay the President more powers? 😉

        I just meant in general…assuming it all works as it’s supposed to. But yes…in a sense, Eric was doing what humans do all the time anyway.

        ~simba_317

    • Eric’s remark about teacup humans refers to the kids’ size. Google teacup dogs and check out the definition. It had nothing to do with how they would taste.

  11. Switzerland must not have read the books. Read the books.

    • It’s not really necessary to read the books to see that Bill is not a Saint and Eric is not “worse-than-the-Devil-himself”.

      All one need is to pay a bit of attention to details… But I guess it is easier not to ;D

  12. 1- Lie pretending to like a woman to be near her just because have the order to take advantage of her and keep her for the queen benefit and gain status of it.
    2- Have a nest in his own house full of killer vampires as roomates, and pretend to be innocent enough to leave with a couple of trash to provoke an incident and risk a woman life in order to give her his blood to attract her sexually and have full control over her.
    3- Then, kill the trashy couple and destroy their property after use them for his own purposes.
    4- Murder his girlfriend’s uncle who is now a cripple old man in wheelchair because she told him she was sexually molested by him when she was little.
    5- Lie to his girlfriend hiding from her that he knows who is and where is her cousing even when she told him that thinks she is disappeared.
    6- Also lie to the cousin about their grandmother death.
    7- Hide his past as a liar, a thief and a murderer from his girlfriend.
    8- Neglect his “ward” enough to make another killer of her.
    9- Always being resentful and never take responsability of his own actions and make others guilty of them.
    10- Being hypocrite enough to pretend to be “good” and “honorable” when his past and present murders and lies speak for themselves.

    Maybe this could be a hero to some women… but, no, the Meriam-Webster Dictionary doesn’t include any of this definitions under “Heroe”.

  13. Simba, I just want to say how much I like the way you write about TB when I’m very frustrated by what happens in TB, just read all your comments I feel much better

    Congratulations for this amazing blog

  14. The entire point of the books was to show humans are just as cruel as vampires

  15. I loved Maxine’s description

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